I’ve been watching the ABC Comedy Super Fun Night with Rebel Wilson with a somewhat side eye since it’s not a self empowering ‘fat girl power’ with a bit of a wink it’s more of the ‘I’ll call myself fat and ugly before you get a chance’ that as a non supermodel I’ve had to really work on.  I haven’t been able to watch every episode since I find it makes me sad and a bit depressed but the last few episodes have gotten better.  Not necessarily funnier but quite a bit better from the first episodes.  I want to like the show since there aren’t a lot of plus size people on TV or really people of color (POC).  So imagine my surprise when watching last week’s episode called ‘The Set Up’ where Kimmie gets set up with a guy who’s the male equivalent of her (a bit goofy, plus sized and average looking).  This episode was surprising well done with a subtle self depreciating humor that I find appealing.  What I found it appealing about the episode is that I’m a bit of a goofy, plus sized and average looking woman looking for a guy who’ll like me ‘just as I am’ (sigh Bridgette Jones).  What I found touching was the scene where Nate Torrance says how his friends set him up with ‘someone who’s kind of weird’ and it makes him wonder how his friends see him.  Not that my friends are running around trying to set me up on blind dates (they aren’t) but I do wonder how my friends see me.  It’s hard to believe that I’m so awful they don’t know ANYONE willing to date me but it must be true since they don’t set me up even when I ask.  I mean I know I’m a bit of an odd duck who’s way too into science fiction, talks too much, am too nice and smiles too much (yes you can smile to much) but it’s  a bit frustrating that when I ask for a dispassionate critique of what’s wrong with me I always get ‘your cute’, you’ll meet someone, nothings wrong with you and the usual platitudes that friends give to protect your feelings.  Luckily I’m my own worst critic so am always willing to look myself over to see what’s wrong with me.  Not that I’m like Kimmie .. she’s a lawyer and well I’m not but I do see parts of myself in her.  I just wonder how people see me who don’t know me.