I’ve gotten a lot better with reading men’s signals (sort of) but it’s been a very concentrated effort on my part. I’ve worked on my self confidence as an attractive vibrant and desirable woman, picked up social cues from reading ‘how to date’ books and learned a lot from watching dating shows.
Like a lot of women I compare myself to the ideal beauty that I see in magazines and TV but of course intellectually I know often they are prepubescent girls who are 6 feet tall, without an ounce of fat and of course bodies that are not like men at ALL (I mean no boobs or a big round ass!). I’ve been working on feeling good about myself and a huge part of that has been working out at Pink Iron Gym where I’ve learned to appreciate what my body can and will do.
But the biggest thing is just opening my eyes. I usually think no guy is looking at me and that I’m invisible but as I’ve become more confident I see I’m not invisible and that some men do find me attractive (not all but a few). So I was at a speed dating event with a bunch of single people. One guy casually said to me that black women loved him for some reason. Being me I just looked blankly at him and sort of laughed. It was out of the blue and a bit unexpected but I got to thinking .. hmmm was he signaling that he liked black women? I wasn’t sure so didn’t really do anything and was also VERY distracted by a cute puppy that I played with .. I know if looking for a date should probably speak with men and not dogs but lifelong habits are hard to break! Later in the evening he approached me again and we chatted he than gave me his card. So I am chalking that in the ‘flirt’ column. Now I could be wrong and he might be thinking I’m his new movie buddy so will ‘wait and see’. The other guy I met seemed intrigued by me with lots of eye contact and he asked if I was joining everyone for drinks afterwards but he didn’t ask me for my number. Hmmm I know he wasn’t shy since he asked/gave his card to a few other women but am thinking that he’d be a great friend. He was FASCINATING with great conversation and we have quite a bit in common. Anyhoo I thought he was flirting but I don’t think he was feeling me after meeting another woman at the bar. But I gave him my card and maybe I’ll have a new friend.
I don’t know once your over 35 it seems that the dating world goes on a major paradigm shift where your meeting divorced men, men who have never been married and of course men who are looking for perfection/women way out of their league! It’s LA so you know it’s going to be hard but it’s my Year of Yes and by damn I’m meeting a great guy!
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