I put an ad on Craigslist since my motto about dating is that it takes a village to find me a man so I’m EVERYWHERE!!! In reply to my very witty ad one man sent me a very scolding reply that I ‘OWE’ him an photo. He cited the ‘online dating rules’ that the person who has placed an ad should ALWAYS have a photo. Of course this was this particular man’s rules since he felt he (as a man) should be the rejector as opposed to a lowly woman. How DARE I take control of my dating destiny and seek a mate that I find attractive!
Happily I don’t value the opinion of an idiot but for those who don’t know the online ‘dating rules’ let me give a you a few that I live by to meet someone.
- Place an ad with a brief description of yourself.
- Post a photo if you want to or not .. it’s your ad!
- Make sure you write a general description of what your looking for as far as criteria (helps to self winnow out)
- I always recommend you look at all replies for ‘red flags’ namely scammers with external links, photos of someone else, super sexy photos (looking for a one night stand or just shows they are weirdos) and a reply that just reads odd
- I recommend a bit of sleuthing so Google, Facebook and/or LinkedIn the name to see what comes up (I’ve seen so many guys who turn out to be married out looking for trouble)
- If someone replies with ‘demands’ of a photo or contact info that’s a red flag for me and I delete out their message
- My motto about photos is that most people use crappy cell phone photos or actor shots that have been photo shopped out of recognition so I prefer a description of someone and that we meet in person since chemical reaction trumps ‘type’ every time
I think these basic ‘rules’ apply to everyone. It doesn’t matter if your male, female, gay or straight anyone who wants to meet somebody online should use common sense to meet someone so that means meeting in a public place since people can and will say anything online. You could be meeting anybody a man masquerading as a woman, someone who’s 70 saying he’s 40 or someone who plans to rob you.
Now these aren’t all my online dating rules since they vary depending on the site. Match, OKCupid, Eharmony, Plenty of Fish or any of the sites where photos are pretty much required to meet someone yes I upload a photo. But as far as craigslist it’s unnecessary to post a photo on the ad (rather your a man, woman, gay or straight) since it’s just a free ad that can be seen by anyone without them having to put up any kind of profile.
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