Like a lot of single people (men, women, gay, straight, bi) I’m looking for love. The one have you seen him? He’s smart, funny, cute and loves attending comic conventions. Shockingly I haven’t met him and have spent sometime trying to figure out why. I don’t have a crazy list like some who require that the man of their dreams has Bill Gates money, handsome as a movie star (Denzel Washington, Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Tom Cruise), the comedic timing of Jerry Seinfeld and the charm of 007 (any of the Bonds will do) no I’m looking for just a nice guy with geek qualities who can wax poetic on the joys of Star Wars and rather George Lucas ruined Star Wars with the movies not to be named (he didn’t succeed). You’d think nice normal guys would fall all over for a woman with common interest, good sense of humor, cute and approachable but NOPE! So about two years ago I evaluated what was likely the big issue and admitted that men are usually pretty visual so I needed to get down to my ‘dating’ weight. While that was going on I decided to not try to meet anyone so removed my profile from dating sights, didn’t post/respond to ads and just went about living my sexless life. Not surprisingly I really didn’t meet too many men. I mean I met a few that I had no interest in ala Goldilocks (too old, too young, too gross) that didn’t satisfy my very low expectations but being a romantic I didn’t give up hope. I kept on moving on and going Comic Con, Wonder Con, movies, book signings, intellectual talks at area universities in my spare time and moving forward with a new career direction (social media community management). As well as regularly working out at my women only Crossfit Gym Pink Iron that is keep me motivated to keep moving as well as the emotional support when I hit a emotional roadblock. But you know that’s not enough to figure out how to meet a man and since I don’t my life to be on hold while I work to be ‘perfect’ am finally feeling confident enough to date. So all I have to do is meet some guys to date! I see other plus sized women who have boyfriends, husbands or at least dating who seemed to have met someone so why not me!
This brings me to dating advice shows. First of all in my circle of friends all my life I’ve been the advice maven who always gave sage advice on dating, career or just common sense (but polite) opinions to nudge someone out of a slump or rut. Sadly I am incapable of taking my own advice so I turned to Patti, Millionaire Matchmaker now don’t get me wrong. She always seems like a really angry shrill
madam who has a very narrow idea of what beauty is and who deserves love (namely men who pay her for the privilege of meeting a fembot) but I use her more of a WNTD (What Not To Do).
So here are my dating rules that I’ve learned from Patti Stanger
- Usually what you want isn’t what you need
- Lust can’t be the main criteria for a mate
- Don’t date men who act like you can order a woman like a burger off the menu
- Don’t date a man who’s rude, disrespectful and/or a jerk no matter how much money
- Being physically attractive doesn’t mean they are smart, nice or a good person
- Anyone who promises you money, cars or riches to date them thinks of you (and women in general) as high class prostitutes
- You have to LOVE yourself to be able to find love
- You can and should judge people by their friends
- If someone is morally bankrupt they are not good mates
- Common interests are important (religion, child rearing, hobbies, interests)
- How they treat their former spouses/co-parent/kids shows what they are really like
- Money can’t buy another person or their love but can RENT them!
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